Shallow Waters.
Words by Jitro Timbang
Hey, listen — I know my intensity might scream, “look at me, look at me, look at me.” But trust me when I say, that’s a paralleling universe nowhere near my reality.
In contrary, I grew up with a big stamp on my face — a target for abuse that had me crawling in darkness, finding comfort, and hoping to God to never being seen.
Somewhere along the road, I became one with what I thought were flaws—today, an aesthetic—finding power in what’s left me the outlier to your social laws.
Never say never, but this might be the only time I’ll have you peak this deep into my red core; in written words, just ‘cause I need you to know how lacking of curiosity that brain of yours that just might be hollow.
Yeah, I get it, you think I have the mind of a kid. Perhaps one day, you’ll realize that a child-like mentality opens us up to possibilities we’d never think to see the light of blue day. I’ve made honest mistakes, but shi-, you telling me you’s a saint?
That irritation that you feel — it’s the shadow in you that’s triggered. Though, the difference between you and I? That I went through when I didn’t even know—one day—we pay this thing called bills that’s got all of us bewildered.
It looks like you’re coming to your awakening. Trust me when I say that it’s a beautiful blessing, but right now, you just might feel a bit tad insane.
I’ve learned to regulate this feeling, down to its cosmic level, and that took reflecting and battling. I’m still healing—it’s never-ending—but a word of advice: let it consume you to fuel your creating. Cradle it with joy, not vengeance or vice.
Don’t come to me, passive aggressive, with a mission to get me out of character — to feed your hunger in seeing me as the character you so badly want me to be. Because between you and me? Neither of us want to see a full manifestation of what could be that entity.
As I conclude this thought and finish releasing this energy, a friendly reminder: we’ve only discovered 5% of the seas, and I am a body of water that’s both shallow and able to swallow giant majesties.
August 5th, 2024 — 9:25pm — refreshed: August 11th — 8:50pm.
